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Wake Up America! Football Is Back!


It’s back baby! Football is back! And I’m not talking about that garbage appetizer we were given last weekend with the University of Central “I’m the 4th best school in Florida” vs Who Cares and Stanford’s annihilation of corn fried Rice. I’m talking genuine, competitive, elite, playoff contender football; and that begun last night. THE Ohio State Buckeyes kicked off college football’s true Week 1 slate as they traveled to Bloomington to take on the Hoosiers of Indiana. The game was close through the first half until J.T. Barrett and da boyz took it into fourth gear and put Indiana to bed where they belonged during the 3rd and 4th quarters. By no means did anyone expect this game to be as close as it was, as Ohio State is a National Championship contender, and Indiana is just a soggy fry at the bottom of the Big 10 barrel, but what this game symbolized was the start of football season. And OOOOWW BABY does that get the juices flowin’! Fellow FSS writer, Joe Walker, and I are big college football guys so last night got us jacked, and in order did get you guys as hyped as we are, I’ve decided to do a little exercise. Because ladies and gentleman FOOTBALL IS BACK and what that means is that every weekend from now until January we will have the glorious sport of football on our televisions every weekend to flaunt over. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Now let’s get to the fun stuff. Every year in college football the player who is regarded as the best in the nation is awarded the coveted Heisman Trophy. Throughout the voting process for this award, the panel looks for significant moments during that player’s season that stuck out as defining. So what better way to get into the spirit of college football than to go through each of those moments?!

Here, with a little commentary from yours truly, are those moments:

0:01 – Reggie Bush, RB, USC (2005)

First and foremost…GOD DAMN did watching sports in standard definition suck. I’ve had a more enjoyable time watching videos through the cracked screen of my iPhone than that. I guess in 2005 HD was still relatively new to the world, but I digress. I love that “CFBin30” decided to start this video in 2005 because 1, ain’t none of us got the time to watch every “Heisman moment” since the beginning of time, and 2, and probably most importantly, Reggie Bush was the coolest college football player ever. The guy literally ran past every defender on every team every week during that year basically making a mockery of college football. I remember watching this play as a kid and going, there’s no way this guy doesn’t go on to be the best running back in the history of football. The man was like a live Madden character! …(Sigh)… Oh well. This year proved to be the peak of Reggie Bush’s football career as he went on to have a less than stellar tenure in the NFL and will forever be known for getting body bagged by Sheldon Brown in the playoffs against the Eagles. But hey, at least he got to date Kim K in the process.

1:18 – Troy Smith, QB, Ohio State (2006)

This one annoys me…2006 WAS CLEARLY BRADY QUINN’S YEAR and he got robbed by this schmuck. Who the hell is Troy Smith anyway?? He is easily the most forgettable player on this list. I gotta give it to him though, that was a hell of a play made even better because it was against Penn State.

2:15 – Tim Tebow, QB, Florida (2007)

Hahaha god the Gamecocks must have sucked. Tebow literally must have scored every touchdown that game…on the same play; what a tank. Tebow did this all season in 2007 as he became (at the time) the youngest player ever to win the Heisman as a Redshirt Sophomore. Again, another player whose career peaked after their Heisman winning season.

Side note: Can you believe Aaron Hernandez was on that squad?? A disciple and a convicted murderer on the same team. I think it’s a safe bet he was a no-show to all of Tebow’s bible studies that season.

3:23 – Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma (2008)

NO WAY THAT’S BRADFORD! NO WAY! The tape is fixed. Look how nimble he once was!! Stiff arm, wheels, leap?? That was incredible! I say it all the time- coming out of college, I was never more sure of a player than Sam Bradford. I thought he was a stud. But now look at him…2 ACL tears later and he’s one of the biggest busts in NFL Draft history. Wearing sleeves down to his elbows and making goofy faces that will create content for great memes for a lifetime…

Some talent expert I was as a kid. That makes it 0/2.

4:18 – Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama (2009)

Oh look who it is?? The South Carolina Gamecocks! Note to future college players: If the Heisman is what you want, convince your school to place South Carolina on the schedule. They’re obviously a JV team. Just like Tebow, Mark Ingram literally ran the same play over and over again down the field for a touchdown, but don’t be fooled by the Gamecocks’ scrubbery. Mark Ingram made fools out of every defense that season as he became the FIRST Heisman trophy winner in Alabama history and carried the Tide to a National Championship victory.

Side note: Can you believe Julio Jones played on that squad? How unfair is that??

5:43 – Cam Newton, QB, Auburn (2010)

Sheesh what a monster… Cam Newton was a man among boys that year as he led the Tigers to an undefeated season and a National Championship victory against Chip Kelly’s Oregon Ducks. Cam is undoubtedly the most successful player on this list as he’ gone on to win Rookie of the Year, MVP, and make a Super Bowl appearance in the NFL. Oh, and he’s only 28… But you’re right Front Stoop Pat, Donovan McNabb is definitely better…smdh.

6:47 – Robert Griffin III, QB, Baylor (2011)

What a throw by RGIII! Game on the line, tie game, escapes pressure, and flat footed, throws a dime for the win. #Clutch. Yet another one that should have been great at the next level, did you hear those stats??

Fun Fact: Josh Gordon was the WR opposite of Terrance Williams that season.

7:54 – Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M (2012)

Man was he fun to watch. Every college male in America during that time wanted to be like Johnny. Watching him take down the goliath that was (still is) Alabama was a joyous experience. But good times didn’t last long for Manziel. After being the first ever Redshirt Freshman to the win the Heisman, Johnny Football’s stock dropped like the market crash of 2008 as he deflated in the NFL after just two seasons. Did you catch the QB comparison the announcer makes at the end? Ty Detmer?? What a joke. It’s like he knew Johnny would fail immediately after college. But then again, so did everyone and their mother.

8:48 – Jameis Winston, QB, Florida State (2013)

Whoa…that play (minus the touchdown) looked eerily similar to the play Eli Manning made in the pocket to David Tyree in Superbowl 42… But what a throw by Jameis! Definitely competes with RGIII for best throw on this tape reel. I still can’t decide if I love or hate Winston. After watching Hard Knocks this year I’ve definitely become a fan of his leadership and attitude towards the game, but I can’t peg him talent wise. He’ll either be a stud or the next Daunte Culpepper (keep it rollin’ baby; shout out Vikings).

9:48 – Marcus Mariota, QB, Oregon (2014)

The best part of this highlight is that Gus Johnson’s calling the play in the background. Bad choice here “CFBin30”. Sure it showed Mariota’s athleticism, but there were definitely better plays to pick from. Nonetheless, I don’t have much to say about Marcus; great athlete, boring person. The uni’s Oregon donned that season had more flair than Marcus has shown in his entire life. Other than Cam however, Mariotta may have the most NFL promise out of everyone on this list. Fingers crossed he stays away from the injury bug.

10:25 - Derrick Henry, RB, Alabama (2015)

This play’s not glamorous, but it proves a point. Week in and week out, Derrick Henry just did his job. He was the culmination of everything you’d want in a running back- strong, quick, powerful, and low key fast. With no major stand out plays like a Cam or Reggie that blew you off your couch, Derrick Henry more than likely won the Heisman that season based on stats- 2,219 rushing yards, 5.6 yards a carry, and 28 touchdowns. He was the best player on the best team, and most importantly of all, he was reliable. Just goes to show you that you don’t always have to be the prettiest girl at the ball to win prom queen. High hopes for this guy in the NFL.

11:11 – Lamar Jackson, QB, Louisville (2016)

Lamar Jackson was fun to watch last season (in the beginning). The problem was he completely fell off at the end. It was a weak Heisman class last year and I believe in 10 years you’ll never remember who Lamar Jackson is. Just your next Troy Smith.

Well there ya have it folks! I hope you’re as juiced up as I am. Cheers to an epic football season this year, both collegiate, and professional.

If you like what ya read, please share and help us get famous! … Stay on the lookout next week as Front Stoop Sports gears up for another year of NFL football with season previews on The Birds, Vikes, and Rams.

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