HOT NEW SEGMENT ALERT!
Do I just keep coming up with original content or what? Have you ever heard of anything like this in your LIFE!? No, you haven't. I mean, ONE SINGLE KEY!? Buddy, I'm not talking about that metal thing that unlocks doors, or even those little love lockets your ex-girlfriend gave you that you sleep with every night as you cry yourself to sleep at the memory of her. I'm talking about what teams need to do in order to be successful each particular night! Genius! Never been done before!
Tonight's key goes to the Philadelphia Flyers as they face off against the Pittsburgh Penguins in Game 4 of the first round NHL playoffs...
Obviously, suspense is needed for such a dramatic moment when I unlock the secret to daily victory...
Wow, what a way to build the momentum. Everyone has just finished their 2nd cup of coffee when I drop this BOMB of a tweet to all of Flyers Twitter. Bill over in HR needs to change his shorts! Not because he pee'd his pants, but because it's 30 degrees in mid-April! Crazytown!!!
The three act play is an art form. Most people make the second act the longest. But I take the road less traveled. Short, sweet, to the point. Here comes the magic baby....
Hook, line, and sinker. The first key has been revealed. It's right there for the taking Flyers. I have given you THE KEY! Don't lock it in your car and have to wait for AAA to come bail you out.