It always makes me laugh when some bobo better hits me up on Twitter after a bad week. Last week, 2 for 5. Was it ideal? Absolutely not. Was it a #YIKES? Far from it. Well, it was actually only 1 game from it but – that’s a whole 60 minutes of football called correctly by me so you do the math.
This week’s slate is fucking mammoth. I highly recommend you listen to the podcast as there’s only 5 games I can fit into the Digest, but so, so many more get put into the podcast. We’re taking over the college football scene people – buckle up.
(12) West Virginia @ (25) Texas Tech: Over 73
Reader Email: “Wait! Joey Digest! How can you possibly not be whipping out the #THICKSACK on this game? It’s just so obvious! Look at how many points this is!” – Silly Degenerate
Oh, Silly Degenerate, if that is your real name – you are quite mistaken. This has a Billy Grier Heisman game written all over it. And not to mention the Red (HOT!) Raiders who have been cruising on offense. Both of these teams are going to score, score, score. And just when you thought they were done, just when you thought the over won’t hit – they’ll score some more. I am not touching the spread or the money line on either of these squads, I really think it will come down to the final touchdown. But as high as I’ve been on the Red (HOT!) lately, I like to think my man Billy Grier will do his thing and ultimately come up on top.
Final Score: West Virginia 45, Texas Tech 37
(18) Texas @ Kansas State: Texas -8
This is 100% a letdown spot for Texas. But fellow Stoop Kid Matty Ice sold me so well on Sam Ehlinger, I have to lay down some units on the man. Kansas State stinks. The Longhorns are rolling into Bill Snyder Family Stadium fresh off a huge victory against TCU. If you can beat TCU – you can beat Kansas State 2 times in 1 game. It’s as simple as that. Be on the lookout for this kid Sam Ehlinger and see if Matty Ice is able to pick’em before Todd McShay. We said Texas was back, and we’re sticking with it.
Final Score: Texas 30, Kansas State 21
Virginia Tech @ (22) Duke: Virginia Tech +4
Was Josh Jackson the only reason the Hookies had a season to be played? I find that pretty hard to believe. Sure, Kansas transfer Ryan Willis is no Josh Jackson – but he should be serviceable for this offense. Plus, the key is in the run game. Can the Hookies continue or improve upon their game day average of 245 yards on the ground? They’re going to have to against a Duke defense that is trying to make a name for themselves being the first week they have a spot on the Top 25. I just see Virginia Tech coming out with more fire after last week’s letdown to ODU. Even if they don’t win this game, I’m comfortable with a close call field goal and the points.
Final Score: Duke 27, Virginia Tech 24
(20) BYU @ (11) Washington: BYU +17
I said it on the podcast, I gave out my first #OUT of the season. Why? Cause I am officially OUT on the Huskies. Jake Browning looks like a baby back bitch in the pocket – similar to a 2018 Eli Manning. He just doesn’t seem confident. I’m going to get a lot of flak for canceling their season, because I was so high on them coming into this year. But I’m over it. It takes winners to get out before it’s too late – and that’s exactly what I am doing. As for BYU? 17 points is disrespectful as fuck for a squad who seems to play great against ranked opponents (see Wisconsin in Week 3). On the road? No worries. My man Squally Canada will take care of this. Washington will come out on top again but it will not be pretty – and don’t fall into their trap anymore this season, we’re OUT.
Final Score: Washington 24, BYU 17
WARNING: PARENTAL ADVISROY EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW. THIS CONTENT MAY BE OFFENSIVE AND DISTURBING TO SOME AUDIENCES. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Ole Miss @ LSU: Ole Miss +10.5
GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY JOEY DIGEST HAS LOST HIS DAMN MIND! Folks, you have no idea how much I might agree with that statement. I haven’t done a damn thing since I said this on the podcast Thursday night. I’ve been bed ridden with guilt, depression, anxiety, you name it – I got it. Do I have the flu? No. I’m perfectly healthy. Then why am I feeling this way? It’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m betting against Coach O. And not only am I betting against him, but I am breaking a sworn promise that I made just a mere two weeks ago on our first podcast. I SWORE after Week 1’s victory against Miami, I would never bet against Coach O again. He is undefeated when I do. Ole Miss has a highly touted offense that can put up points in almost any situation. LSU has not put up more than 38 points in a game this season (last week against what I consider to be a community college in LA Tech). Ole Miss on the other hand? Averaging 42 points per game, and that’s after only scoring 7 against the Crimson Tide. Jordan Ta’amu can play, and he can find his receivers when he needs to (shout out AJ Brown). I do not think the Rebels win this game, as they are on the road and LSU still has an extremely tough schedule ahead, so I will not call this a letdown. But I will take the 10.5 and expect a close one in the bayou. Coach O, forgive me for my sins.
Final Score: LSU 34, Ole Miss 27
PS: I’m not kidding about Coach O always beating me. If you’re a degenerate, you look at that stat and it will speak to you. However, if you’re a true degenerate, you follow my advice through and through. My intentions are always sincere. Let’s win some dough.
