Two pushes and a hit after the potato sack for your Labor Day burgers. I’ll take it. It’s week two and while the rest of the book makers spent their week correcting NFL futures and week one lines, Joey Digest was burning the midnight oil studying game tape from New Mexico State vs. Washington State. Did I waste my week listening to every petty move made by either the Raiders front office or Antonio Brown? No. I was too busy watching the weather down south for how it could affect mid-afternoon Saturday unders. Do you think I like doing all this work for the people? Yes. Because it’s for you, the people. Credit to me.
Cincinnati @ (5) Ohio State: Ohio State -15.5
All I’ve been hearing this week is how close this game could end up being. Don’t get me wrong, I like Cincinnati. They’re a great team and way ahead of schedule for their current program’s projections. And while only giving up 2 TD’s to a UCLA offense in a week one matchup is decent, you have to multiply it by at least 3 going into Buckeye territory. The Bearcats will put up a fight, but the combo of Justin Fields and J.K. Dobbins is just going to overwhelm and deflate the Cincy defense as the game goes on.
Final Score: Ohio State 42, Cincinnati 23
(12) Texas A&M @ (1) Clemson: UNDER 63.5
THICK SACK ALERT! The fact that Clemson are 16.5 favorites at home would lead one to believe in that ultra-rare Tigers blowout. The Aggies are going to have to rely on their defense to keep it close. I think they will for a good bit. No one wants to see a Clemson blowout in this game, that would be the most boring thing in the world for this great week two matchup. And if you’re a Tigers fan and are okay with a shootout, you’re an idiot and should be banished from the state of South Carolina. If Clemson’s defense gets blown up today – I would be very worried about their future this season. Luckily, I don’t think I will have to be worried about their future this season.
Final Score: Clemson 37, Texas A&M 24
New Mexico State @ (2) Alabama: New Mexico State +55.5
Who the fuck makes these schedules? I really feel bad for New Mexico State man. #22 ranked Washington State in week one, #2 Alabama in week 2? Give them a fucking break. Just out of respect I’m going to pull for the Aggies here – plus, you can’t not take 55 points… another sign of respect.
Final Score: Alabama 52, New Mexico State 6
(6) LSU @ (9) Texas: Texas +6.5
Here we go. The first ‘real’ Coach O pick of the season. He already busted my under in week one. I thought I was safe. Turns out I was wrong. But I will keep the rivalry alive, not to mention the rankings matchup (nice) is just too good to pass up.
HOME DOG of the week baby. Texas is back. This is Sam Ehlinger’s time to shine. For the most part, this is likely going to be a defensive battle. But from a spread perspective, it’s going to come down to who can get the one extra pass competition in their stat line to keep the game close. Who can respond when down to keep their team in the game. I’ll take Sam Ehlinger in that category. I think LSU will win in the end just because I think their program is closer to contention then the Longhorns regardless of the home dog factor, but not by 6.5 points.
Final Score: LSU 24, Texas 21
(23) Stanford @ USC: USC -3
I was actually impressed with how USC handled themselves against Fresno State. I think it’s obvious they made some decent improvements on the offensive side of the ball this offseason. But they’re still building. Luckily, Stanford is declining if anything. They barely got by Northwestern last week, boosting the score with a fumble recovery for a touchdown on the last play thanks to a desperate Hail Mary attempt. The Trojan offense is going to take a minute or two to get into this game, but once the proper adjustments are made – they will start to roll.
‘But wait! Joe! Don’t you know JT Daniels got injured and freshman QB Kedon Slovis is now taking over!? Don’t you think this is going to be too much for him and Standford will pounce!?’
No, that’s exactly what they want you to think
This is USC, they literally breed QB’s in test tubes
The market share is sitting at 64% of the money at Stanford +3, I’m testing the house
Final Score: USC 27, Stanford 21
Season 3 Running Record: (4-6-2)