The Degenerate Digest v.102

FRIDAY NIGHT EDITION (SHOUT OUT OGBFFL GOLF - no free ads, you’ll pay me later).

Oh man I’m coming in hot for this one. Hot like my blood pressure. Knowing that I just consumed multiple Jack & Cokes, a classy grocery store Malbec, and.. dare I say.. some special candy, this card has to go undefeated. I would allude this kind of focus to that of being in a rumored relationship with Taylor Swift. That sentence was strictly for SEO reach, credit to me. Seriously, if there’s anything I should do from a marketing perspective for this blog, it would be saying Taylor Swift and Deon Sanders in the same sentence. Oops... I did it again. SEO idiots, look it up. Let’s get to the picks - I have lots.

(8) USC @ Colorado: Under 73

Bahahahaha. Colorado. You have to be kidding me. I’ve been wiping my ass with Ducks (don’t call PETA) for years. And you let THAT happen to you? You know what, I don’t even care. A lot of the neighborhood is showing up to see Uncle D for a 10am kickoff. Give me the under.

Final Score: USC 45, Colorado 27

(23) Missouri @ Vanderbilt: Missouri -14

I would love to buy a half point here. If you can, you should. Missou has had a great start to the season. But more importantly, fuck Vanderbilt. Just bet against Vanderbilt.

Final Score: Missouri 38, Vanderbilt 21

Boise State @ Memphis: Boise State +3

You’re telling me the 3-point home gimme by Vegas isn’t a tell here? These ding dongs are going all in on pocket 4’s. I’ll take my chances. With a Bronco squad that has been keeping the Bronco name alive in a positive light, unlike their NFL brethren, not sure we have a choice.

Final Score: Memphis 32, Boise State 31

(13) LSU @ (20) Ole Miss: LSU -2.5

Nope. Nope. Lane Kiffin, we’re not doing this. I know we’re already doing this, but don’t make us do this.

It's spooky season, I'll conjure the ghost of Coach O if I want to.

Final Score: LSU 27, Ole Miss 24

(9) Oregon @ Stanford: Stanford +27

Can’t believe I’m taking the nerds here. But you know what, sometimes you have to take the nerds. After a media-swarmed stomping of the 21 point underdogs (lol), you have to think Oregon is riding Cloud 9. Nerds will let the computers do the work.

Final Score: Oregon 42, Stanford 17

(11) Notre Dame @ (17) Duke: Notre Dame -5.5

I hate this line. I hate this line more than I hate when you’re in a hotel room that doesn’t let you bring the air conditioning unit lower than 68 degrees. Fuck that. Fuck this line. But you can’t not take it. It’s too sexy. It’s sexier than a hotel room that lets you bring the air conditioning unit lower than 68 degrees. Love it. Love this line.

Final Score: Notre Dame 32, Duke 24

South Carolina @ (21) Tennessee: South Carolina +11.5

Don’t forget about Spencer Rattler. Don’t forget about the Gamecock defense against Georgia two weeks ago.

Final Score: South Carolina 28, Tennessee 27

Michigan State @ Iowa: Iowa -10.5

After that loss to Penn State? And with everything the Spartan’s locker room has to deal with? On the road? The Spartan’s aren’t walking into a locker room, they're walking into a slaughterhouse.

Final Score: Iowa 31, Michigan State 17

Charlotte @ SMU: SMU -22.5

I feel like SMU came into the season hoping to prove something. Well, they haven’t proven shit. But I also haven’t bet on them. I don’t think I have, at least. I think they buck up 50 on Charlotte.

Final Score: SMU 67, Charlotte 7

With the amount of picks this week, and the fact that I’m due for a Zyn and another Jack & Coke after ripping this up on a Friday night, no #PremiumTeaserTickleTeaser. The holiday’s are coming up you fucks, get down to the tracks if you want to buy the presents. I’m only here to pay the bills.

Running Record: (211-176-7)