Railroaded. Hit by a bus. Stabbed to death when everyone thought you were the killer. Whatever horror movie scenario you want to use to describe last week, I’ll take it to the chin. I’ve already been smacked up, what’s a couple more? Something takes a (rather large) part of me, Vegas and I were meant to be. We need a role reversal to the current screenplay that is ‘Joey Digest (Freak On A Leash), Vegas (Leash Holder)’. The worst part about last week wasn’t even the Digest record. It was my golf game. I get another crack at the ol’ twig an' acorn today. Just like I do these dumb fucking picks.
(11) Alabama @ Texas A&M: Alabama -2
Have you seen Alabama since the Texas loss? I shit all over them last week. What’s that dumb fucking song by The Who? Won’t Get Fooled Again? If you’re easily offended, especially when it comes to opinions on Classic Rock, please stop reading. It’s financially responsible if you do regardless, trust me. The Who fucking suck. I’m taking Bama.
Final Score: Alabama 28, Texas A&M 24
Colorado @ Arizona State: Colorado -3.5
Ughh. Here we go again. The Colorado storyline is fun. But it’s tired. It’s a tired storyline. Sue me. This line makes zero sense. Colorado should win by 40. That’s what scares me. I’ll make a wager with you fucking screwballs. If Colorado doesn’t cover this spread, I’ll listen to the National Emergency Notification for an hour on repeat. I won't be filming it, so you won't be able to confirm if I followed up with this or not. But you don't make the rules, I do.
Final Score: Colorado 45, Arizona State 31
(20) Kentucky @ (1) Georgia: Kentucky +14.5
Georgia has been flirting with losses left and right. South Carolina. Auburn. Wildcats are spicier than my asshole after the Paqui One Chip Challenge.
Final Score: Georgia 24, Kentucky 17
(24) Fresno State @ Wyoming: Fresno State -6
I don’t know shit about Fresno State. What? You want me to lie to you? Okay - I know everything there is to know about Fresno State. Don’t question it.
Final Score: Fresno State 31, Wyoming 21
San Jose State @ Boise State: Boise State -9.5
I don’t know shit about Boise State. What? You want me to lie to you? Okay - I know everything there is to know about Boise State. Don’t question it.
Final Score: Boise State 32, San Jose State 21
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