Dear Degenerate,
I have a confession to make. While my heart has always been in the right place, it hasn’t always been in the best shape. This is not a ‘I have high blood pressure because I keep losing, and losing, and losing’ cop out. Far from it, lib. It’s a way for me to tell YOU, cowards, that I have not been true to the game of late.
Side bar: Why did I just call you all cowards? Because I’m sick of the shit talk. You could be the one to get your hungover ass up every Saturday morning and write a blog consisting of terrible financial advice 8 years running, but you’re not. I am. And here you are, crawling back begging for more. You all make me sick.
I just haven’t been able to do the homework. Life comes at ya fast. Work, buying a house, planning a wedding (I’m not planning shit, shout out the lovely Mrs. Digest), it all adds up. I’m not able to sink my teeth into things like I used to. I’m not able to watch as many games as I used to. The research, the tape, both have been collecting dust.
Well I’m letting carbon dioxide rip into the bottom of that N64 cartridge this weekend. Ain’t no dust here. I’ve done all the research, I’ve watched all the tape. The dog did not eat my homework. We’re going to win some fucking money today.
Kentucky @ (6) Ole Miss: Kentucky 1H +10.5, U52.5
Startin’ off HAWT HAWT HAWT with a two-fer. Get fucking use to it. Kentucky is by far the best defense Ole Miss has faced thus far, this being the Rebels first test in conference. Sure, Hotty Totty hit the over easy in their first game vs. Furman. But 3 straight unders since, and a Kentucky team that only put up 6 against South Carolina (and are also allowing just 3.25 points in the first half through 4 games!!!), we’re rocking both of these with ease.
Final Score: Ole Miss 34, Kentucky 14
Maryland @ Indiana: Over 50.5
Indiana is averaging this total, alone, on offense through 4 games. Maryland, while they haven’t played a defense quite like the Hoosiers to date, are still averaging 35 points per game.
It’s over.
Final Score: Indiana 34, Maryland 27
(15) Louisville @ (16) Notre Dame: 1H U23.5, Louisville +6.5
Notre Dame’s only hope is on the defensive side of the ball. Riley Leonard fucking sucks. Tyler Shough has the 14th best QBR compared to Riley Leonard’s 39th spot. And what did the Louisville D line do to 10th ranked QBR, Haynes King, last week? Held'em to 19 through 60 minutes of smash mouth football. Expect this to be low scoring to start, but Louisville will find a way to likely win this outright at the end.
Final Score: Louisville 23, Notre Dame 21
Old Dominion @ Bowling Green: Bowling Green +10.5
I started writing this breakdown and realized how much homework rules. I’m pro homework.
Looking at both of these teams, they actually have a decent schedule comparison. Both are playing for money, in the sense that major programs are paying them to get dubs early on before conference play really kicks into gear. That’s cute. But did you watch Bowling Green against Penn State? Did you watch them against Texas A&M’s defense? Doubt it. Homework. They’re 3-0 ATS compared to ODU’s 1-2 record, and the best team they beat was no one because they’re 0-3.
Final Score: Bowling Green 34, Old Dominion 17
THE MANE EVENT
(2) Georgia @ (4) Alabama: 1H U23.5, O49.5
We steady mobbin. Every other square in the space is looking at a coin flip spread. Fuck that. No one knows who is winning this game. Thankfully, we did our homework. Both teams coming off the bye, Georgia’s offense is scoring 11 points on average in the first half, while the Crimson Tide are holding opponents to an average of 3 first half points. Slow start. Get back to the locker room and regroup. Blow the whistle, time for the second half of stats. 21 average points in the second half from the Dogs, 23 from Bama. We steady mobbin.
Final Score: Alabama 28, Georgia 27
No Premium Member Tickle Teaser. Too much homework.
Running Record: (250-231-7)
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