The song remains the same. Another 3-2 week, but that’s a winning week and the last time I checked when I win - you win, and when you win - little Sally and Johnny get the luxury of a BLT on fresh marbled rye at lunch instead of liverwurst on stale Stroehmann’s. The past couple of weeks, while filled with some highs and lows of ranked teams going down, the college football slate has been a bit underwhelming. But we followed the rules on how to survive a lackluster schedule. We kept it simple, stuck with our gut, and rode the hot hand. Always follow the rules.
Today’s slate is a different story. Today’s slate, we might be able to take a couple of risks - see if we can catch the killer (in this case, Vegas) sleeping. It’s Halloween weekend and college towns across America are going to be BUZZIN’ off high’s probably unrelated to sugar. We have a pillow case packed with treats on the schedule today, all of which could provide some thrills. Let’s get to it.
Texas @ (16) Baylor: Texas OUTRIGHT/Over 61.5
I can never get Texas right. When I want them to be back, they stink it up. When I want them to get the h*nrs d*wn, they look like the program most college football fans want them to be. They have had a brutal stretch here in the month of October, spooky season to the max, both losses coming from Oklahoma’s finest. So the Longhorn pick here is more so the hope Steve Sarkisian can rally the troops against a ranked team in hopes to stay alive in the Big 12. As for the over, through 7 games Texas is averaging just about 42 points per game with the Bears close behind, averaging 38 points per game. Two high powered offenses that want to beat the breaks off the other side of the scoreboard. Can you say shootout?
Final Score: Texas 38, Baylor 35
(1) Georgia @ Florida: Under 50.5
THICK SACK ALERT FOR THE WORLD’S LARGEST COCKTAIL PARTY!
Oh yeah. Inject this game into my veins each and every year. It looks like Georgia might still be a bit banged up on offense coming into this game, and that’s the only chance Florida is going to have to make some noise. If they can get a stop or two early - they may stand a chance to cover the +14. With that said, there's just no way I can trust Florida’s offense against the Bulldogs defense. ‘But Joey Digest, they put up 29 against Alabama’. Oh shut the fuck up, that’s neither here nor there. This game will either be close with a Georgia dub in the end thanks to Florida’s defense getting a couple stops, or it will be a blowout for the Bulldogs while still keeping the under because Florida can’t score. Drink up, Gator fans.
Final Score: Georgia 35, Florida 14
Texas Tech @ (4) Oklahoma: Oklahoma -19.5
They're coming to get you, Sonny.
Fuck Texas Tech, they remain dead to me this season. I hope they lose by 100.
Final Score: Oklahoma 100, Texas Tech 0
(10) Ole Miss @ (18) Auburn: Ole Miss OUTRIGHT
There are too many people in the college football landscape talking about how strong Bo Nix looks. Fuck that guy, he’s one of the weakest QB’s I’ve seen in a comparable position (SEC QB) in my life. Mental midget who does all the wrong things right, and all the right things wrong. I don’t understand how anyone, including Vegas, thinks he’ll be able to keep up with the Running Rebels offense which is 2nd in the country behind Ohio State. Running the ball will only do so much in this game, and I don’t trust when the time comes for Bo to have to make the play to get ahead on the scoreboard or tie the game late that he’ll actually be able to perform accordingly.
Final Score: Ole Miss 41, Auburn 32
(20) Penn State @ (5) Ohio State: Ohio State -19.5
We’re getting spooky here with this pick. If you’re a true degenerate, DM me up for the #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser and you’ll see why. I said last week that the Buckeyes were a team to watch down the stretch here, they have now covered 4 straight weeks. It’s time. It’s time for our next wave. With that said, even while we are seemingly standing upright on our surfboards, there’s just no way they should be favored by this many points. I hate that we’re on this wave at this exact moment, but you don’t choose the wave - the wave chooses you. Embrace the vibe and just let it ride. Penn State hasn’t looked the same since that 2nd quarter against Iowa almost a month ago, and Ohio State has done everything right and more in that same stretch of time. Remember to follow the rules.
Final Score: Ohio State 45, Penn State 24
Running Record: (116-95-3)
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