The Degenerate Digest v.84

Look at us. One Braveheart video later and we have ourselves a win. The first 3-2 week of the season. I would like to thank god, the academy, and anyone who hates Purdue. Seriously Purdue, fuck you.

This week is a doozy - the biggest card of the season. This week’s theme: They Can’t Keep Getting Away With It Saturday. Every pick on my card is a team going up against a 3-0 team. These are teams that simply cannot keep getting away with it. And you know what we say to those teams today? Tough titties. What? You thought you were just gonna get away with it all season long? Nope. Tough titties. Week 4!

(17) Baylor @ Iowa State: Baylor +2.5

The Cyclones are 3-0? After losing so much on offense last season? That’s crazy. They can’t keep getting away with it.

Final Score: Baylor 32, Iowa State 27

(20) Florida @ (11) Tennessee: Florida +10.5

I hate this pick so much, but it has to be done. I said I would only give Florida one shot this season and they boned me. I also said Tennessee goofs on teams like Akron then went and shoved a 63-6 win in my face. So this is going to be a spiritual experience watching a game with two teams I have a vendetta against. With that said, the Volunteer’s are 3-0 and I refuse to believe they are going to keep getting away with it.

Final Score: Florida 28 - Tennessee 27

Notre Dame @ North Carolina: Notre Dame +2.5

Notre Dame has been terrible thus far. We have video evidence coming out of South Bend with Tommy Rees ripping into Drew Pyne.

While the Irish celebrate the passing of the Queen - the Fighting Irish celebrate nothing. Because they stink. Luckily for them, the Tarheels are 3-0. And they can’t keep getting away with it.

Final Score: Notre Dame 24, North Carolina 21

(15) Oregon @ Washington State: Oregon -6.5

Oregon has been clicking on offense after that embarrassing open in Atlanta. They’re going to put up points today. Washington State only put up 24 against Idaho. That's fraudulent, Cougars. You’re not getting away with it.

Final Score: Oregon 42, Washington State 27

(10) Arkansas @ (23) Texas A&M: Texas A&M -2

Hello Hogs? This is the SEC. And you’re not allowed to get away with it.

Final Score: Texas A&M 34, Arkansas 31

Wisconsin @ (3) Ohio State: Wisconsin +19.5

I don’t know how much we can call this a rivalry anymore, Ohio State owns Wisconsin. But do they own them by 19.5? The Buckeyes could only muster 21 points against Notre Dame at home. This Badgers defense needs step up and not let them get away with it.

Final Score: Ohio State 34, Wisconsin 21

Kansas State @ (6) Oklahoma: Kansas State +13.5

After everything the Sooners went through this offseason - who would have thought they could muster up a 3-0 start. They can’t keep getting away with it.

Final Score: Oklahoma 27, Kansas State 24

Boston College @ Florida State: Boston College +17.5

I refuse to believe Boston College is a below .500 team. But more importantly, I refuse to believe the Seminoles can keep getting away with it.

Final Score: Boston College 24, Florida State 21

(7) USC @ Oregon State: USC -6

It’s only right to end the card with a true ‘Who’s Gonna Get Away With It’ pick. Both of these teams are 3-0…

(I could go in the direction of a condom joke here, but I’ll keep it family friendly and go with a history joke)...

*clears throat* and just like the Greeks looking for entry into Troy, the Trojans are going to get away with it.

Final Score: USC 32, Oregon State 24

Running Record: (150-130-4)

P.S. Two Announcements: This time next week I will be in Spain. So I'm going to have to write the Digest early and without line movement. It'll be new territory for us, but we will prevail. Also, no #PremiumMemberTickleTeaser this week. Parlay these picks. $5 gets you $7k. Because Vegas can't keep getting away with it either... hopefully.