A 2-3 Week 0 may be my best Week 0 yet. We’re out here blind firing at the hip against the laser guided defense system that is Vegas and we lose a unit. Big whoop. Oh Vegas thinks they’re so cool right now, what did that unit buy you Mr. Vegas? A new dictionary? Freakin’ dorks. Well it’s Week 1 now guy, and let me tell you - I’m not buyin any of your bullshit already this season. Half the games this week you’re not even man enough to give out lines on. Well la de dah, someone smells scared. We’re degenerates for crying out loud. And as the late great Jimmy Buffet once said, we all know just how lucky we are - down at the la de dah.
Utah State @ (25) Iowa: Over 43.5
What do we have here? A Big 10 team over to start? Well la de dah. Don’t mind if I do. I don’t think Iowa is going to be as noisy as they have been in recent seasons, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be able to beat up on fringe bowl teams like Utah State. I think the offense should be able to move in this one, and while the defense should be plenty capable of a shutout - I still expect the Aggies to put up something here or there.
Final Score: Iowa 32, Utah State 17
Nevada @ (6) USC: Over 66
I had USC marked as a playoff team this year, and while they still can achieve that, what I saw against San Jose State on the defensive side of the ball did not provide much hope they won’t shoot themselves in the foot somewhere along the way. It would be very apropos for their last season in the Pac 12. With that said, if there’s one thing about the Trojans that hasn’t skipped a beat, it’s their offense. Well la de dah, we have to take this bet here knowing what we know. If it hits, consider this an early contender for a possible wave this season.
Final Score: USC 48, Nevada 21
West Virginia @ (7) Penn State: Penn State -20.5
Tell me if you heard this one before, I’m really high on Penn State this season.
I’m sure the Nittany Lions will make me regurgitate the kool aid I’ve been drinking all offseason, but the fact of the matter is - they should be a problem. If they can manage to not get in their own way, and win one of the match-ups against Michigan or Ohio State (and keep the other close), they very well could be in a position to make the playoff. With a prime time nationally broadcast home opener against a Mountaineers team who may already be looking at next season before kickoff, they need to take this opportunity to make a statement.
Final Score: Penn State 42, West Virginia 17
(21) UNC @ South Carolina: Over 63.5
Drake Maye vs. Spencer Rattler. Battle for the Carolina’s at Bank of America Stadium. La de dah, I need points like this tailgate needs pulled pork.
Final Score: UNC 38, South Carolina 28
(5) LSU @ (8) Florida State: LSU -2
Sunday Night Labor Day Weekend is one of my favorite college games of the year. Monday off and itching to either make back losses from Saturday or breaking the bank and letting it ride. It’s a win-win game to gamble on when you really think about it. A wise man once said, you can make unlimited money gambling - but can only lose 100%. So true. La de dah. LSU is another team I think will compete for a playoff spot this season. A successful first year for Brian Kelly will only mean onward and upward this season. While I typically don’t like betting on Brian Kelly when there are expectations on the line, you can’t deny what he’s done with this program in a short amount of time. I believe in this Tigers team much more than the Seminoles, and with that I have to take the points.
Final Score: LSU 27, Florida State 24
Running Record: (198-164-7)
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