There’s a lot of people that are probably waking up this morning, putting on the bathrobe, walking out to get the morning paper, getting on a pot of coffee, burning some bacon, without even a hint of Joey Digest passing through their cerebrum. Yeah sure, I’ll admit it – I went 2-3 last week. So what? Just because you get to the beach early, and the first wave you ride is a dud, doesn’t mean you have to call it quits. We’re wading in the water, always ready to strike. And wave picks aside, there’s plenty of fish to catch along the way. I’ve said this before after losing weeks and I’ll say it again – 2020 is no different. Don’t you forget about me. How else are you paying the fucking bills?
(5) Florida @ Ole Miss: Florida -13.5
Kyle Trask. That is what separates this Florida Gator’s team from most teams in the country this season. The man is getting Joe Burrow comparisons. The hype is real and why not buy in on the first game of the season against an Ole Miss team who will, in no universe, have the secondary to compete against Trevon Grimes, Jacob Copeland, and Kadarius Toney (if the Gators offense is in fact able to get it going right from kickoff). The Rebels secondary gave up an SEC-worst 278 yards per game last season. That’s not going to flip over in corona-world game one. Gators by 2 touchdowns minimum.
Final Score: Florida 34, Ole Miss 17
(23) Kentucky @ (8) Auburn: Under 47.5
Thick Sack Alert! I love Auburn this season. The day after the LSU National Championship game, my thumb suspended in air for multiple minutes over the Tigers 2021 championship odds on FanDuel. I’ve been thinking about them ever since. Bo Nix, Seth Williams, Anthony Schwartz, Eli Stove… all under the helm of guru Gus Malzahn. They are stacked. My only hesitation was knowing the parity that would exist in the SEC this season. And that applies to Kentucky as well. The Wildcat’s defense is up there with the cream of the crop. And their offense is set to play bully ball with four starters back on the line. It’ll be a slow start for both offenses, Kentucky will aim to control the clock, Auburn will pull away late, and the thick sack will prove victorious.
Final Score: Auburn 27, Kentucky 17
(22) Army @ (14) Cincinnati: Away Team Total Over 15.5
I fucking love this pick. I have 2 bullet points for the class, and before I drop into them let me just say. These bullet points make so much fucking sense I almost can’t believe how much sense they make. Okay, enough sense making of things that make sense…
· I trusted the troops last week (Navy comeback baby). A lot of people don’t trust the troops. I do. 2 touchdowns and a field goal? If our boots on the ground can’t come up with that at 3:30 on a Saturday… no need to come up with a hypothetical here – they will. Trust the troops.
· Cincinnati has played one game this season, against Austin Penis. Austin Penis has played 3 games this season… you know who they scored the most points against? Yup, Cincinnati (20). If that pop-warner team can put up 20 on the Bearcats, so can our nation’s best.
Holy shit that made so much sense.
Final Score: Cincinnati 28, Army 17
West Virginia @ (15) Oklahoma State: West Virginia +7.5
If you watched Oklahoma State last weekend, you know all you need to know about this pick. If Spencer Sanders (still questionable) is in fact out today – double down on WVU ML. The Cowboys offense seems to be revolved around Spence and if he’s not on the field, they may as well forfeit. WVU offense was rolling against Eastern Kentucky last week, will have a more difficult task today, but should be able to at least keep up with whatever low-effort points the Cowboys are able to come up with (again, if Sanders is in fact out). Regardless – I see this game being fairly close for the majority, Cowboys by a field goal thanks to a solid defensive effort.
Final Score: Oklahoma State 23, West Virginia 20
Florida State @ (12) Miami: Miami -10.5
Miami looked great against Louisville last week. It was an easy game to get up for. This game, not so much – on account of the Seminoles being bobo. With that said, the Hurricane’s should be able to perk up and pull away if they are forced to sweat a bit today. I just have zero confidence in FSU, they are completely lost. Also, when you crash a wave pick? Guess what buddy – I’m looking right at you. You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.
Final Score: Miami 34, Florida State 23
Running Record: (53-35-2)
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